


Only seeing myself when I'm looking up at you

by sheawaldenbecks (styleztomlinson)



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Handholding, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8540476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styleztomlinson/pseuds/sheawaldenbecks
Summary: And if the pattern he was drawing was the things he could not yet say out loud, then Lukas would just have to draw them a bit more firmly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My best friends started watching Eyewitness as well, and it has truly brought us even closer together. This came about after [Sami](http://baneslightwood.tumblr.com) asked for "Lukas thinking of Philip". For my [best](http://hale-stilinski.tumblr.com) [friends](http://baneslightwood.tumblr.com), my biggest support, and the best people I have ever met. I love you so much, and I can't wait until we see each other again.
> 
> This is unbeta'ed, and any mistakes are my own. The title is from Bite by Troye Sivan.

Thinking of Philip has become second nature to Lukas. More often than not, he finds himself drifting off, thinking about the way Philip looks at him when he thinks Lukas won’t notice, the way his lips look after they’ve been kissing, the softness of his touch, the way he says his name. Lukas takes their moments and stores them away, because he knows that they’re precious, and, against his will, he realizes that they probably won’t have many together.

It is not always that thinking of Philip makes him take physical action, though. He had been lying on his bed listening to music to try and drown out all thoughts in his head. All thoughts except the nice ones. The ones of Philip. Before he had even realized it himself, he had snuck out of his room and out to their front porch. Taking his cross would be too risky, so he took his old bike and went where his legs would take him.

In the end, it was his heart that led him instead. And in the end, it wasn’t so surprising that ended up outside of Philip’s house.

Lukas took a few small stones and gently threw them at Philip’s window. When he only had one left, he noticed Philip turning his light on.

“What th- Lukas?” Philip asked, drowsily rubbing his eyes with his hand.

“I-“ Lukas started, and didn’t know how to continue. He hadn’t planned this.

“You scared the shit out of me.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”

“Well…” Philip trailed off. “Are you coming up or were you just going to stay there?”

Lukas chuckled quietly. “Screw you,” he said before climbing up the tree and onto the roof of Philip’s porch as quietly as he could.

“Hi,” Philip said once he was inside.

“Hey.”

“I was trying to sleep, so…”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I just. I couldn’t get my head to shut up. And the next thing I knew I was here.”

Philip looked at him for what felt like an eternity, his eyes searching his face for something Lukas didn’t know.

“Alright.”

Philip lay down on the left side on the bed, before looking back at Lukas. “Lie down. We’ll set an alarm before Helen and Gabe - and your dad - wake up. It’ll be fine.”

Lukas took a step forward before pausing. His mind tried to stop him, but his heart had other plans. He moved towards the bed until he was right by the foot of it. He lay down next to Philip, cautious of creating enough distance between them. Just in case.

Lukas purposefully placed his hand in the middle of the bed, while trying to play it cool and look anywhere but at Philip.

Philip smiled softly to himself before carefully placing his hand atop of Lukas’.

Lukas took a deep breath, willing his hummingbird heart to stop trying to beat right out of his chest. With a trembling hand, he turned their hands around and gently caressed Philip’s knuckles, before turning them over and carefully letting his fingers graze across his palm. His heart skipped a beat as he squeezed Philip’s hand and interlaced their fingers.

They fell asleep like that, with their hands intertwined. As if they were each other’s anchor that kept them from drifting away, and maybe they were.

\---

In the morning, Lukas woke up before Philip did. Somehow during the night, they had moved closer towards each other, to the point where Lukas was curled up in the safety of Philips’ arms, his back against Philip’s chest and Philip’s hand draped across his waist.

Lukas didn’t dare move.

Lukas gently placed his hand on top of Philip’s where it was resting on his stomach, drawing patterns on his knuckles.

And if that pattern was the things he could not yet say out loud, then Lukas would just have to draw them a bit more firmly, he thought as he drew “I really like you” over and over into Philip’s skin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii. Thank you so much for reading! Any kind of feedback brightens my day and means the world to me, in case you feel like it. I'm [styleztomlinson](http://styleztomlinson.tumblr.com) on Tumblr, if you want to stop by and say hi. Have a nice day!


End file.
